Posted on by ikram0408@gmail.com

The Dark Night of The Soul

Who Are we when we are navigating through darkness?

Many of you have certainly heard about the dark night of the soul, or the period when are forced to go inward and acknowledge our feelings, process our traumas, and make peace with it, forgive ourselves and move on.

I have been going through a pretty extended and intense dark night of the soul, which I am pretty used to by now, given the fact that I have been on this journey of self – discovery & healing for few years now, but this time, it was different. I had been pushed to clear, purify and cleanse my heart after a powerful heart activation, which triggers the rise of my deeply suppressed emotions, so I had to dive thru very rough waters in total darkness, blindfolded, and unable to see what’s in front of me…

THE FEAR OF THE UNKOWN

The Foggy or clouded sight refers to not being able to perceive or see what’s coming towards me, which is so crippling for someone who has navigated her life using her strong intuition, someone who is very much in tune with sensing her environment, sensing and detecting people’s intentions.. I felt like a warrior who was sent to a battle field with no protection, no swords,…It is the most frustrating, frightening and vulnerable space I had ever been…

In fact after a couple of difficult months, I was finally able to grasp the wisdom laying behind this experience, I am finally able to see the opportunity I was given to understand my patterns, and receive the messages my higher self was trying to convey to me.

Throughout my life journey, I have been faced with so many setbacks, betrayals, dishonesty …etc, having to go thru a betrayal after another, a heart break after another, I lost trust in everyone, I was not able to forgive myself for being so naive and trusting towards everyone. As a coping mechanism I rose up my walls, and made an intention not to let anyone in my heart space, people can exist in my surroundings, because I am able to sense their energy, but nobody is allowed further because of the history of betrayals and dishonesty, and all the pain I vowed to myself not to go through again.

The main blind spot in my vision was my inability to get this : ” you don’t have to do this alone” because “you are protected and looked after”, those were the messages I kept on hearing in my prayers and meditation, in another words, believe and have “Faith”, faith in God, in my journey, “Trust” that everything is perfect the way it is, and “surrender” to the divine plan, and timing.

In the midst of my fear and mistrust, I dismissed the divine existence , I doubted his ability to protect me, and questioned his plan. This urged me to have full control of my life, an urge to know what’s next, where AM I heading?, so any environment which has an unknown aspect of it, was considered not safe, hence, my choice of distancing myself from people, and ceasing of having any relationships, given that was a foreign territory that I am not familiar with.

This revelation allowed me to find many answers to many of my inexplicable behaviours, and provide me with a road map to my patterns, and a compass to use while journeying in the depth of my fears.

ITS ALL ABOUT FAITH!

“Faith” is the answer, the knowingness that we carry in our heart that there is a bigger presence, directing our lives, and that everything we experience in this physical realm is divinely guided, to allow our souls to grow, evolve and live in total happiness and Joy, the blissful life we are meant to have.

Once we start trusting, we are able to shift the narrative of our life, and it is easy for us to be in a space of “Love over Fear”, tune in to compassion, and activate our ability to forgive ourself and everyone involved in the old narrative of our story. We will look at people, situations and relationships differently, because our heart is open to offer empathy, to ourselves and to humanity, having a deep knowing that everything happens for us and for the higher good of all involved parties.

Be the Light!

Posted on by ikram0408@gmail.com

All or Nothing

The Illusion of being PERFECT

I have always thought of Perfectionism as a positive trait that leads to increase our chances to succeed, and feeds our non-ending strive to be the best, but a few years back when I started dipping into spirituality, I started realizing how it can lead to self-defeating thoughts, self-sabotage, stress, anxiety, and many more serious mental illnesses if we stay in denial and not address this serious mental disorder.

“All or nothing” is the highlight of a perfectionist behavior, the inferior ego whispers in your ear that either you are the best, or you will be the worst, this negative thinking has always blocked me from having a full experience, I always wanted to plan carefully, control all risks, even predict the outcome. In whatever I did, there was always a fear of failure hindering in my subconscious.

I guess the situation is so clear to you now, on the contrary of what people might perceive of a perfectionist, he or she always feels worthless if they can’t see their accomplishments manifested in their physical reality the same way they wanted it at first instance, so much energy is spent trying to keep life in order, making lists, overworking yet getting a little pay comparing to the time and effort invested.

The strive for excellence can be directed towards academic achievements or social status, and it has been developed as a result of conditioned love by one or both parents in childhood, having to obey extreme and unbalanced standards to be validated.

The disorder starts when parents have used harsh criticism or shaming whenever their standards are not met, hence the child subconscious had to find a coping mechanism to avoid all the negative emotions he or she was experiencing such as shame, rejection, judgment being excluded, not feeling loved and accepted.

It is also interesting to mention that when we are not balanced, we create more imbalance. In the constant search to be Mr. or Mrs. Perfect, we are working with unattainable standards that keeps intimidating everyone around us, friends, colleagues, romantic partners, and without realizing it, we send energetic messages with our behaviors putting so much pressure on people in our social circle, causing their retreat and need to leave our lives because they can never match our expectations. Hence we get trapped in an ongoing cycle of rejection and isolation.

The first step toward changing any habit is to see where you are under its thumb. There are many expressions of perfectionist behavior, and some are less obvious than others. Are you a neat freak? Do you compare yourself unfavorably to other people, or are you always noticing other people’s faults? Do you do everything over four or five times, or are you the perfectionist who is so afraid of failure that you won’t even start? Once you’ve observed where perfectionism manifests in your life, explore the way your body feels when your inner perfectionist has the floor. Where in your body does perfectionism live?

Now that you have defined it, acknowledge the emotions and thoughts that you experience once your perfectionist character takes the floor, Ideally, the best way to change this pattern is by cultivating self-love, the bottom of this matter is the continuous strive for love, hence the cure is love but this time, not anyone’s love but your own love:

  1. Practice Compassion towards yourself, be tender and understanding,

2. Watch your negative thoughts, your inner criticism, writing is an amazing tool you can use in this department, it will help you track your thoughts & emotions, hence identifying the pattern and navigate through it.

3. Relax more, give yourself permission to just relax, not engage or commit in any activity or work at least once a week.

4. Stay in the Now, in the present moment, without worrying about the future or thinking of the past. Breathing exercises ‘Pranayam’ and meditation are great tools to always bring your awareness to the Now.

4. Let Go! Of control, trust yourself, and have Faith.

By letting go, you Let the light in!

Let me know how does perfectionism manifest in your life, what are you doing to deal with it? I would love to hear from you.

Be the Light!