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A look into Social Behaviours

Social Perception — A Psychological & Spiritual View

Have you ever made a bad judgement call? or misread a person or a situation? if your answer is yes, then this article can be useful for you.

In Social psychology, the process of discerning people, and figuring them out, is called “ social perception”, it is a mental tool people use to form impressions about each other, and make conclusions about these impressions.

Forming impressions on people, is a process we practice daily, consciously or unconsciously. Consider for example the barista who serves you your morning coffee, and the conclusions you draw from your impression on him, even thou you barely know him.

Impressions help us in taking decisions and making judgment calls about people and situations in our lives, however, these judgments can be biased, stereotyped, or even made based on a memory, which make them delusional and not really accurate.

How do we form impressions?

Our first impression about others is a result of a selection of variables. A lots of factors can influence the process of impressions formation such as, the person’s behavior and traits, their physical appearance, the social context, traits, and past experiences.

Social Identity Theory

In 1979, psychologist Henri Tajfel initiated one of the best contribution to psychology, which is the social identity theory.

Social identity is a person’s sense of who they are within their group membership (s). the groups we belong to, are a source of pride and self-esteem and a sense of belonging (Henri Tajfel , 1979)

Social Identity Theory suggests that we divide the world into “them” and “us” (i.e. we put people into social groups), and we use three mental processes to do that.

Social Categorisation

The first mental shortcut we use in forming perceptions. In this process, we mentally categorise people into different groups based on common characteristics. This can occur consciously, but for the most part, social categorisations happen automatically and unconsciously. Some of the most common social categories are age, gender, occupation, , religion and race…etc.

Social Identification

In the second stage, social identification, we adopt the identity of the group we have categorized ourselves as belonging to.

If for example you have categorised yourself as a student, the chances are you will adopt the identity of a student and begin to act in the ways you believe students act (and conform to the norms of the group).

There will be an emotional significance to your identification with a group, and your self-esteem will become bound up with group membership.

Social Comparison

The final stage is social comparison. Once we have categorised ourselves as part of a group and have identified with that group we then tend to compare that group with other groups. If our self-esteem is to be maintained our group needs to compare favourably with other groups.

This is critical to understanding prejudice, because once two groups identify themselves as rivals, they are forced to compete in order for the members to maintain their self-esteem.

Competition and hostility between groups is thus not only a matter of competing for resources like jobs but also the result of competing identities.

Discernment & Judgement in Spirituality

The spiritual perspective always directs us towards a higher understanding, it does promote learning , healing and soul growth. One of the main laws in spirituality is that there is no separation, or “ THE OTHER PERSON IS YOU”. So each time, you judge or form an impression about the other, you are just projecting your own wounds and insecurities on them, otherwise, you will have no motivation to judge, categorise or label anyone.

If you are spiritually inclined, you would be familiar with the word “Inner- authority, which is the ability to judge, people and situations. Having a good judgement is different than being judgmental, it is the foundation of discernment to have the ability to observe and evaluate a situation, while being judgmental is taking the superiority platform, to criticise the other or put him down.

This discernment is a choice to either plug to the high energy and truth of the creator of “all that is”, or plug to the lower vibrations of the lower density of the “Matrix”, and get enslaved by the illusion of separation.

A very powerful meditation to develop inner authority, good discernment, is visualising a royal chair location in the area between your eyebrows (third eye), and picture yourself sitting confidently on this chair, and looking at situations from there, from a higher perspective.

Discernment can be cultivated by taking responsibility of your own life, and stop blaming your misery on people or situations , instead learn to observe your patterns, understand your emotions, they will point you towards the only reason behind your projections and illusional judgment which is nothing other than your own wounds and insecurities.

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AUTHENTICITY

Are you living as your true genuine self? or do you have a mask on?

WHO AM I ?

Is a vital question which each one of us should be asking, we should be checking our inner truth, and observing if we are acting with integrity, if we really walk the talk. The sad reality, is that most of the time, our actions are influenced by our social conditioning, and beliefs,

To have a better understanding on the real meaning of authenticity, try to watch children play and hear their genuine laughter, it is one of the greatest beauties you can witness in life.

We were all born as children filled with life, a sense of wonder, and the desires to explore or create and live in the moment.  Children have no past baggage or future anxieties so they express what they feel and aren’t afraid to love unconditionally.

At the age of 3, Children start to become more tamed, we start loosing that sense of wander. This process of losing your authenticity and replacing it with thoughts in the form of fears, shameful memories, rules, social values, and beliefs is known as domestication.

Our domestication can turn into a disease if our parents do not have the awareness and wisdom of what they are passing on.  Just like pets, we are domesticated with an emotional reward or punishment system.  If our behavior is desirable we are rewarded with attention and affection.  If our behaviour is not acceptable we are punished by the rejection of our parents.

As Children, we didn’t care about judgement, we did what made us happy without having to worry about what other people may think of us, hence our self-worth was rooted in our authenticity.

However, as adults, our thoughts and behaviour are fear driven, fear of rejection, of judgement…etc, so we unconsciously gave our powers, and put our self-worth in the hands of other people. This new type self-worth forces us to change, to create a false image of ourselves, then slowly, we start realising that people have different expectations from us, teachers, parents, friends , lovers…etc, until we realise that we have lost ourselves in the middle of trying to fit in, to please, and to be accepted. TO BELONG

The False image brings insecurities and anxiety, the insecurities hit you because you expect to externally live up to an image you envision for yourself, but deep down you know the internal image of yourself is different.  The greater the discrepancy between these two images, the more insecure you will feel. this false image is called EGO, it manifest as the need to always be right, in order to protect the illusion you have created, and you spend your life trying to prove people wrong by trying to become successful, rich, famous…etc but this pursuit of physical thing will never give you the satisfaction you seek, there is a void in you that will keep creating suffering and unhappiness until you decide to unveil your true colours and be unapologetically yourself.

WAKE UP TO SEE THE REAL YOU

Authenticity will teach you to see the world as it is, not as you believe it to be.  You are the manifestation of the Divine within this physical body, As you become more authentic you’ll begin to understand this; not with logic and your social personality, but by feeling it at in your core, your very essence. Honour your soul! Honour your TRUTH!

BE THE LIGHT!