Posted on by ikram0408@gmail.com

THE POWER OF SURRENDER

If you grew up like me, with a disciplined and strict up-bringing, challenged to be self-sufficient from a very young age, to plan for everything in your life, with very little left to fate, this is definitely a very relevant topic for you.

So with such background, I figured out in my childhood, that in order to make it in a competitive and challenging world, I had to develop a central ego, to make sure that I am protected, resulting in a lonely wolf, a warrior, type of personality, the notion of asking for help rarely occurred to me. Of course this doesn’t come without a price, the pressure I put on myself was overbearing, and it led to intense level of anxiety. The irony is until very recently, I had a strong believe that this is who I am, this is my identity, until the illusion was unveiled, and I realised that this was a defence mechanism I have that worked for me, and it kept me safe throughout my challenging days, and my subconscious was holding on to it desperately, that I was in total denial of its shadow element.

In a nutshell, the most frightening situation for me, was anything that involves uncertainty, not knowing what the future holds for me, with such mindset, the most difficult thing to do is to loosen your grip, to let go of the need to control every situation, to SURRENDER!

What is the meaning of Surrender ?

There is a Sufi tale of a man on a quest who finds himself trapped in a huge public bath. The man is alone and knows that if he does not escape he will die. A parrot suddenly appears and tells him that if he can shoot it with his bow and arrow, he will be free. The man has three arrows and quickly fires the first. The parrot flutters into the air, and the man misses. The man turns to stone from the feet to the waist. He fires a second arrow, misses, and turns to stone up to the shoulders. He has one arrow left. What should he do? If he misses a third time he is dead.

This riddle beautifully illustrates the challenge of those times when our conventional ego strategies fall apart and will actually lead to our demise if we go on. The story ends when the man closes his eyes, says, “God is great,” and fires the arrow. This time he hits the parrot and is freed. When faced with no other options, he has to give up to something greater than himself to find a different source of resolution.

What do we surrender?

We surrender the “I”, “the Ego”, the conditioned separate self which operates from a set of beliefs, thoughts…etc together with all attachments to the attachments to the established identity, to our surroundings… in another words, we surrender our need to be individuals.

To understand the psychological meaning of this, it is worth mentioning Carl Jung’ theory on individuation. Jung used the term individuation “to denote a process of becoming a psychological ‘individual,’ that is, a separate, indivisible unity .” To individuate is to gradually actualize our innate capacity to live as a unique individual.

Jung recognized that there would be times on this journey when we are challenged to surrender the central dominance of ego to the deeper significance of what he called the “Self.” For Jung, “Self ” refers to the center of our totality—a deeper seat of wisdom that holds a sense of our innate potential as we unfold in our lives. He was not implying that the Self had some kind of ultimate existence, but that it is nevertheless experienced as a center of wholeness, just as the ego is experienced as a center of consciousness. The Self individuates us—that is to say, its “intention” is that we evolve in such a way that the relationship between the ego and the Self matures. At certain times on our journey, the ego begins to realize that it is not the prime mover, that there are forces at work that have far greater influence. The Self asserts a kind of psychological pressure on us to change and become whole, a pressure that can be extremely disquieting as the ego loses its safe, familiar ground. A major aspect of this undercurrent of change is the need to shift our understanding of what is really at the center of our lives. The shift of emphasis from the ego to the Self has been described as the shift from “I will” to “Thy will be done.”

To whom we surrender?

Surrendering can not be achieved if we do not have faith and trust in a bigger powers, it requires listening to the voice of truth and wisdom residing in our heart, instead of the voice of fear and doubt caused by our Ego, it is basically letting go to some deeper sense of purpose.

Surrender and Spiritual Awakening

Photo by Rodolfo Clix on Pexels.com

The process of surrender begins with fear, our ego feels threatened by the truth, so the anxiety kicks in, as a defence mechanism to stop us from listening to our intuition, to our instincts, to the voice of our own truth, creating a paralysing fear of the unknown, which can vary from the fear of the future, fear of death, fear of taking a certain decision or following a certain path.

The key to surrender is letting go of control and resistance to what is, and instead accepting and working with the energy of the universe instead of working against it. However, surrendering does not mean sitting back and waiting, but having an active role in your life, but once you put on the work, planted the seeds, and made clear intentions, you can relax, trust and wait for your harvest.\

To wrap up this, I have learnt to differentiate between the energy of surrender and the energy of resistance, when I am in flow, peaceful, breathing easily, my awareness level is pretty high, and I am able to see the bigger picture, I know for a fact that I am in surrender mode. however, I can detect the resistance or forcing mode, when I tend to narrow my mind and go into the nitty gritty details, trying to control the How, when and who? , when the fear and resistance take over, I immediately become anxious, doubtful of self and others, with a very clouded vision, with time I have learnt to bring myself back to the present moment, by grounding, meditation, spending time in nature… I still do that mechanically, practising surrender, like they say fake it until you make it!!

LET GO AND LET GOD IN!!

Be the light!

Posted on by ikram0408@gmail.com

THE WARRIOR IN YOU

When I think of courage, the first thing that came to mind is the image of the hero or the prince charming in Disney movies saving his beloved, from the monster or the dark witch, acting life a fool in front of all the challenges and obstacles thrown his way.

Although this might sound like a fantasy, it has lots of truth , the monster is a depiction of fear, while the hero, is the courageous self once liberated from his paralysing fear and the princess can be a desired goal or outcome.

learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

Nelson Mandela

Courage for me, represents the ability to step outside my comfort zone, and confront my fear, the fear of the unknown, of loosing security & stability, the fear of judgment for being different, or for not abiding and conforming to the norm.

It can be applicable to any situation in life, to a Job, a decision, a relationship …etc. Once one is crippled in fear, he let go of his powers, of the leadership of his life, and takes the passenger seat. Instead of setting goals and taking actions, he embodies the passive role and wait for people, organisations, destiny to consider him in their plans.

This realisation although obvious and logical, yet it took me by surprise when I was reflecting on some challenges I was facing at work in the past two weeks, and it shed light on how I was letting go of my role as active catalyst in life and instead of taking the leadership I chose to take the back seat because of the uncertainty of what might happen next.

So what does it take to be brave, to conquer the fear barrier, and own your life? it does take Courage, Faith, Trust in your abilities and in the divine support.

I guess to make things easier on you and me, we should ask ourselves, which one is stronger? the fear of taking the leap of faith? or the fear of what could happen if we do?. what would happen if we fail?, and what living with the feeling of a missed opportunity: to freedom, to a better job, to a better life, to a lifetime of happiness and success?

Life is meant to be lived, and we, as spiritual beings having this human experience, are meant, to explore the unlimited possibilities available to us, to take risks, to fail, pick ourselves up, learn and move on to the next adventure, to succeed, rejoice and celebrate. We are not supposed to have a stagnant life lacking purpose and drive, a dull life with no passion to keep us bright and joyful.

We were unfortunately conditioned to be perfect, and were given a boring road map to how a successful life should look like, but as we are entering the Aquarian age , the age of expansion of the collective consciousness, of awakening and of truth, it is our duty to start leading by example, to show our next generation a new way of being, away from the old paradigms & limiting beliefs that was bestowed upon us, Instead, we should guide them to embrace the magic of life and to look at it with an eye full of wonder and curiosity, just like the child that we were once.

Be the light!

Posted on by ikram0408@gmail.com · 2 Comments

AUTHENTICITY

Are you living as your true genuine self? or do you have a mask on?

WHO AM I ?

Is a vital question which each one of us should be asking, we should be checking our inner truth, and observing if we are acting with integrity, if we really walk the talk. The sad reality, is that most of the time, our actions are influenced by our social conditioning, and beliefs,

To have a better understanding on the real meaning of authenticity, try to watch children play and hear their genuine laughter, it is one of the greatest beauties you can witness in life.

We were all born as children filled with life, a sense of wonder, and the desires to explore or create and live in the moment.  Children have no past baggage or future anxieties so they express what they feel and aren’t afraid to love unconditionally.

At the age of 3, Children start to become more tamed, we start loosing that sense of wander. This process of losing your authenticity and replacing it with thoughts in the form of fears, shameful memories, rules, social values, and beliefs is known as domestication.

Our domestication can turn into a disease if our parents do not have the awareness and wisdom of what they are passing on.  Just like pets, we are domesticated with an emotional reward or punishment system.  If our behavior is desirable we are rewarded with attention and affection.  If our behaviour is not acceptable we are punished by the rejection of our parents.

As Children, we didn’t care about judgement, we did what made us happy without having to worry about what other people may think of us, hence our self-worth was rooted in our authenticity.

However, as adults, our thoughts and behaviour are fear driven, fear of rejection, of judgement…etc, so we unconsciously gave our powers, and put our self-worth in the hands of other people. This new type self-worth forces us to change, to create a false image of ourselves, then slowly, we start realising that people have different expectations from us, teachers, parents, friends , lovers…etc, until we realise that we have lost ourselves in the middle of trying to fit in, to please, and to be accepted. TO BELONG

The False image brings insecurities and anxiety, the insecurities hit you because you expect to externally live up to an image you envision for yourself, but deep down you know the internal image of yourself is different.  The greater the discrepancy between these two images, the more insecure you will feel. this false image is called EGO, it manifest as the need to always be right, in order to protect the illusion you have created, and you spend your life trying to prove people wrong by trying to become successful, rich, famous…etc but this pursuit of physical thing will never give you the satisfaction you seek, there is a void in you that will keep creating suffering and unhappiness until you decide to unveil your true colours and be unapologetically yourself.

WAKE UP TO SEE THE REAL YOU

Authenticity will teach you to see the world as it is, not as you believe it to be.  You are the manifestation of the Divine within this physical body, As you become more authentic you’ll begin to understand this; not with logic and your social personality, but by feeling it at in your core, your very essence. Honour your soul! Honour your TRUTH!

BE THE LIGHT!

Posted on by ikram0408@gmail.com

Re-thinking Rejection

Photo by VisionPic .net on Pexels.com

A Curse or Blessing!!

When was the last time you experienced rejection? Was it a parent who was never present enough for you? was it a guy or relationship you thought was worth investing in, and you were proved wrong? was it a boss who overlooked you for a promotion? or someone who thought you were never good enough, no matter what you did?

Rejection may seem like a curse, an enemy, it is disheartening, it makes you feel you are not good enough, and pushes you to question your self-worth and value, but in fact, if you take sometime to think about it consciously, away from the EGO games, because if you think about it, its the Ego who gets rejected and no one else. So once you calm your emotions, you will realised that Rejection is your best friend, you can use is as a catalyst for success and a proof of your high value. instead of internalising it and making it about you, change your perception and look start looking at it as a development tool, a massive catalyst for your success, instead of a humiliating force.

Rejection as a Projection

Before getting discouraged or start doubting yourself, think that rejection can be a projection of the other person’s own insecurities, and has nothing to do with you. In life we encounter different kind of people, some of them are using projection as a defense mechanism, and defense mechanisms are used to cope with feelings and emotions that we have trouble expressing or coming to terms with,

We attract people into our lives who mirror BOTH extremities within us, so that we can have the opportunity be aware of our own dichotomy. The law of attraction responds to both extremes. We are a perfect match to them, even though they seem to be the opposite of us, because that denied self is still part of us and is still therefore, subject to the law of attraction. But these people tend to be our opposing mirror. They reflect the attribute we suppressed and we reflect the aspect that they suppressed. current concept of projection suggests that someone who is projecting, is projecting their own denied self onto someone who doesn’t have those traits at all. But projection is a two way street. Often what we project onto someone IS actually a trait that they possess as well and we only recognize it because it causes a flare up of the wound of that rejected aspect within ourselves. Also, to have someone project upon us, we have to be a vibrational match to that experience, meaning that the experience of being projected upon is also reflecting something that is being denied within ourselves. So instead of falling into negative thinking, own the situation and transform it into a success a story:

I will share with you a tool I am using when I am experiencing a strong emotion or an uncomfortable situation in my life.

first calm your mind and go inward, then ask yourself the 3 below Questions :

  1. What is this?
  2. why I am experiencing it?
  3. How Can I change it?

  1. What is this ?

This question will help you identify the emotion triggered in you when you experienced rejection, what are you feeling, where is it located in your body, and what physical sensations comes with it.

2. Why I am Experiencing this?

When you ask why, you are now exploring your subconscious mind, you are basically looking for your “STORY” here, everyone of us has a repertoire of stories cultivated based on previous experiences, and we keep on feeding that story, and if we are not able to face it, we dive into the illusion of being a victim of our circumstances.

3. How Can I change it?

Now is the time to take charge of your life, to change the narrative of your story, to understand that the world is not there to get you, and that you are not a victim, but you are an active performer in this play, called LIFE.

So use this opportunity to explore new part of yourself, to call back fragmented parts of your soul that you keep rejecting, embrace them and know that you are WHOLE.

Rejection as a Protection

Sometimes, God or the Universe removes people, or situations from your life because they are not just for you, either you are supposed to be somewhere else, with someone else, or doing something completely different, which is in line with your life path and your destiny. Rather than believing that life is against you, open your heart and trust in what is unfolding for you, Surrender, don’t resist it. And I promise, you will go through a life changing experience and you will be grateful for the journey that leads you to where you are and who you are, you will feel blessed for the rejection which initially was a Protection for your heart and soul.

Be The Light!

Posted on by ikram0408@gmail.com

Addictions and Childhood Trauma

How parenting shaped who we are today?

This article was inspired by a “Youtube Video” shared by my best friend, the video was one of Dr. Gabor Mate lectures about addictions and childhood, Dr. Mate is a renowned speaker, and bestselling author, he is highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics including addiction, stress and childhood development.

What Blew my mind was The Incredible synchronicity and the timing of this video, as I was fully submerged in my own internal process, and reading one of his books “ In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts” which is basically a close encounter with people with severe addictions as a consequence of a traumatised childhood.

The lecture had a double impact on me; I felt it was both comforting; I had a moment of clarity; I felt the divine heard my prayers, and graced me with answers, my life experiences are finally making sense, and I felt a huge responsibility, to share this and make a difference, it may be insignificant in the ego eye, but if one person benefit from it one day, that is ENOUGH for me, hence I couldn’t fight the urge to write about it.

What is Addiction?

A person with an addiction uses a substance, or engages in a behavior, for which the rewarding effects provide an interesting incentive to repeat the activity, despite detrimental consequences. Substance Addiction may involve the use of substances such as alcohol, inhalants, opioids, cocaine, and nicotine, or behaviors such as gambling, shopping, exercising, gaming, sex, Love, Tv, Internet…etc.

The Difference between Physical and behavioural Addiction?

Addiction can occur in many forms. Often, it is assumed that physical dependence characterized by withdrawal symptoms is required in order for someone to be diagnosed with an addiction disorder, but the fact is that behavioural addiction can occur with all the negative consequences in a person’s life minus the physical issues faced by people who compulsively engage in drug and alcohol abuse.

It is the compulsive nature of the behavior that indicates a behavioral addiction, or process addiction, in an individual. The compulsion to continually engage in an activity or behavior despite the negative impact on the person’s ability to remain mentally and/or physically healthy and functional in the home and community defines behavior addictions. The person may find the behavior rewarding psychologically or get a “high” while engaged in the activity but may later feel guilt, remorse, or even overwhelmed by the consequences of that continued choice.

Why Do we get addicted?

Behavioral addictions exist in a gray area in addiction. Technically, the only medically recognized behavioral addiction is gambling disorder. Formerly classified as an impulse control disorder, gambling disorder was reclassified in 2013 as an addictive disorder in the DSM-5 (the official reference guide for diagnosing mental illnesses).I saw this reclassification as significant because it was the first formal recognition that behavioral addictions exist.

What is alarming here is while addiction to physical substances is treated and also recognized and acknowledged by society? It does not give behavioral addiction that much importance, although they share the same importance and detrimental effect on the brain neurological flow, and to get the situation even worse, the addictive behavior is welcomed and approved in our modern society and is considered NORMAL.

Dr. Gabor Mate links all kinds of addictions to Childhood Traumas, the parenting we received, and the way we were treated, and how we felt in our home environment. So we grew up as dysfunctional insecure, unloved adults, wounded, disconnected from the “SELF”, so addictions a coping mechanism to find pleasure, comfort, to release stress…in other words, to be in AVOIDANCE to look at our wounds.

Most of us have been the fruit of unconscious parenting (no blaming to our parents, they did what they could with the limited emotional maturity and consciousness they had), we have been compared to other kids: siblings, cousins, neighbors…etc as an incentive to be better which affected our confidence, self-esteem, others of us felt guilty for growing in dysfunctional homes, where anger and verbal/physical abuse was the only communication they knew off, and they blamed it on themselves“ Its ME” “It’s because of ME”, and others experienced the emotional and/or physical absence of one or both parents… etc, hence the addictive tendencies of the whole society to obsessive consumption of social media, mobile phones, food, makeup …etc

The Connection to your SOUL

I can’t help but Quote Rumi on one of the closest quotes to my heart

“When the World pushes you to your knees, you are in the perfect position to PRAY”

We all have been through ups and downs in our lives, but it is always the cry of our soul that brings us back to the source, the source of who WE ARE.

Anxiety, Depression, Melangomy are ways our soul is crying for our attention, and calling us back to the path of LOVE and LIGHT, reminding us we are LOVED and BLESSED by the Divine and that all is well if we have the courage to embrace our emotions if we feel our feelings instead of avoiding them. The journey back to the soul is worth it, it is not an easy one, can be painful & lonely but avoidance also is full of shame, fear, and pain.

Be Brave and Never give up hope on yourself or your loved ones, be mindful in your communication with everyone, you don’t know what they have been through, be gentle and kind with yourself, with your fragile inner child, he/she has been already through a lot, give them love and compassion, nurture and hold space for them.

And last but not least, if you are planning on having kids, please be Mindful & Conscious, and make sure you are READY for such responsibility.

Be the Light!

Posted on by ikram0408@gmail.com

The Magic In You!

How to unveil it and embrace it in your everyday life?

Our souls yearn for magic. Kids love all stories about magic, and even as you get older magic and fantasy still have their place in your heart because they all have the ancient archetypes that we have experienced in our life’s journey, but it gets easier and easier to forget the “spells” that bring it out. And that’s when attracting magic into your life becomes a fundamental need.

As adults, we constantly find ourselves stuck solving problems, fighting (or protesting) against all the injustices we feel like we are victims of. These are the kinds of circumstances you try to survive, but while you’re doing that you forget to look up. The good news is that it’s possible to attract or re-attract the magic. Shaping a magical vision of the small things is a mental state, and everyone has the power to create their own “magic button” to bring them into that state whenever they want.

How to unlock Magic in your LIFE?

“Magic happens when you have encountered the Divine. It is the life-altering experience of connecting to the divinity that dwells within yourself and in the world.” — Phyllis Curott

The best way to find magic in everything you do is to be observant, to believe that there is an unseen world, bring in your heart, and tune in to your energy, emotions, and senses in every experience.

Below are a few tips to unleash magic in your life:

1. Do Something Different: break the habit of being on autopilot all the time, A new study by Daniel Gilbert (who wrote a great book called Stumbling on Happiness) and Matthew Killingsworth, confirms that most of us are ‘mentally checked out’ a good portion of the time.

It turns out that just under half the time, 46.9% to be exact, people are doing what’s called “ Mind Wandering” we do not focus them on the outside world or the task at hand, they are looking into their own thoughts. Unfortunately, the study of 2,250 people proposes,

Researchers found that people were at their happiest when making love, exercising, or engaging in conversation. They were least happy when resting, working, or using a home computer.

People reported that their mind wandered no less than 30% of the time, during everything except love making. And here’s the kicker: people report being unhappy during mind wandering. Something that we do nearly half the time makes us unhappy! No wonder there are so many spiritual and religious traditions trying to implore people to ‘live in the present’.

2. Spend more time with Kids: Kids are so in tune with their magical imagination, from talking to their imaginary friends to believing that they have superpowers, so spending time with kids will expand your mind and attract magic back to your life, it will bring your playfulness and quick side by involving your inner child in everything you do.

3. Gardening: working in your garden, or touching plants and flowers with your hands, feeling them, will help you in connecting with their spirits. The more present you are the easier you can establish communication with these living beings, brining more grounding and awareness to your daily life.

The freshness of the Now and why we perceive the continuity of time

Rumi teaches us that despite the appearance of continuity, the whole of existence is recreated every moment. Since everything is fresh every moment, if we dis-identify from our time-bound mind we could get out of our own way, live in the now, and be the agent for whatever the present moment manifests.

Source of the new!

There surely exists a deeper world.
What’s the telling sign, you ask?
The renewal of the moments, the passing of the old.

A new day, an extra night; new gardens, new life,
every breath brings about fresh insights;
newness is richness, joyfulness.

Where does the new come from?
Where does the old end up?
See past the walls of perception…
experience the boundlessness,
the universe has no beginning, no end!

There’s magic in a lot of the surrounding things, in the small things alongside you every day. It could be a sunset, the starry sky, a child’s smile, the birds chirping, the breeze against your face, the rain that refreshes and nourishes life… In a Nutshell, Seeing the magic in everything around you means recognizing and being thankful for all the wonders in your life. So for you to find and attract magic, start by being present, and thankful for the wonderful gift you already have, the gift that keeps on giving with each beat of your heart: LIFE.

Be the light,

Posted on by ikram0408@gmail.com

All or Nothing

The Illusion of being PERFECT

I have always thought of Perfectionism as a positive trait that leads to increase our chances to succeed, and feeds our non-ending strive to be the best, but a few years back when I started dipping into spirituality, I started realizing how it can lead to self-defeating thoughts, self-sabotage, stress, anxiety, and many more serious mental illnesses if we stay in denial and not address this serious mental disorder.

“All or nothing” is the highlight of a perfectionist behavior, the inferior ego whispers in your ear that either you are the best, or you will be the worst, this negative thinking has always blocked me from having a full experience, I always wanted to plan carefully, control all risks, even predict the outcome. In whatever I did, there was always a fear of failure hindering in my subconscious.

I guess the situation is so clear to you now, on the contrary of what people might perceive of a perfectionist, he or she always feels worthless if they can’t see their accomplishments manifested in their physical reality the same way they wanted it at first instance, so much energy is spent trying to keep life in order, making lists, overworking yet getting a little pay comparing to the time and effort invested.

The strive for excellence can be directed towards academic achievements or social status, and it has been developed as a result of conditioned love by one or both parents in childhood, having to obey extreme and unbalanced standards to be validated.

The disorder starts when parents have used harsh criticism or shaming whenever their standards are not met, hence the child subconscious had to find a coping mechanism to avoid all the negative emotions he or she was experiencing such as shame, rejection, judgment being excluded, not feeling loved and accepted.

It is also interesting to mention that when we are not balanced, we create more imbalance. In the constant search to be Mr. or Mrs. Perfect, we are working with unattainable standards that keeps intimidating everyone around us, friends, colleagues, romantic partners, and without realizing it, we send energetic messages with our behaviors putting so much pressure on people in our social circle, causing their retreat and need to leave our lives because they can never match our expectations. Hence we get trapped in an ongoing cycle of rejection and isolation.

The first step toward changing any habit is to see where you are under its thumb. There are many expressions of perfectionist behavior, and some are less obvious than others. Are you a neat freak? Do you compare yourself unfavorably to other people, or are you always noticing other people’s faults? Do you do everything over four or five times, or are you the perfectionist who is so afraid of failure that you won’t even start? Once you’ve observed where perfectionism manifests in your life, explore the way your body feels when your inner perfectionist has the floor. Where in your body does perfectionism live?

Now that you have defined it, acknowledge the emotions and thoughts that you experience once your perfectionist character takes the floor, Ideally, the best way to change this pattern is by cultivating self-love, the bottom of this matter is the continuous strive for love, hence the cure is love but this time, not anyone’s love but your own love:

  1. Practice Compassion towards yourself, be tender and understanding,

2. Watch your negative thoughts, your inner criticism, writing is an amazing tool you can use in this department, it will help you track your thoughts & emotions, hence identifying the pattern and navigate through it.

3. Relax more, give yourself permission to just relax, not engage or commit in any activity or work at least once a week.

4. Stay in the Now, in the present moment, without worrying about the future or thinking of the past. Breathing exercises ‘Pranayam’ and meditation are great tools to always bring your awareness to the Now.

4. Let Go! Of control, trust yourself, and have Faith.

By letting go, you Let the light in!

Let me know how does perfectionism manifest in your life, what are you doing to deal with it? I would love to hear from you.

Be the Light!

Posted on by ikram0408@gmail.com

The Art of Vulnerability

Photo by Juanjo Menta on Pexels.com

Are you brave enough to be vulnerable?

This might sound weird to you, Vulnerability and Courage may seem like two extremes, but in reality, it takes so much courage from a person to show his vulnerability in relationships, to open up his heart and be prepared to get hurt by the other person.

What is Vulnerability?

Vulnerability is being open to be criticised, judged, and even hurt by other individuals, it’s having the courage to take risks despite the uncertainty, is taking a leap of faith even if you do not understand what the outcome will be, it’s showing up no matter what, having integrity and commitment.

Dr. Brené Brown, a researcher who has done lots of research on vulnerability, and is the author of the #1 New York Times bestselling book, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, has used a phrase in her 2010 TEDx Houston talk, The Power of Vulnerability, which is one of the top ten most viewed TED talks in the world.

The phrase Daring Greatly was quoted from Theodore Roosevelt’s speech “Citizenship in a Republic.” The speech sometimes referred to as “The Man in the Arena,”:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does not strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat”- Theodore Roosevelt

I love this quote, there is no vulnerability without daring, most of us have developed a fear of the unknown at some stage, a fear of failure, of being criticized, because of social conditioning. Some take risks, they prefer to experience with total faith, surrender, and acceptance of the outcome, others choose not to, thus they prioritize staying in their comfort zone, they cannot let go of control, of the outcome, because it has to be the way they want it to be and since they have no guarantee, they miss the whole experience, the experience of life! The MISS LIVING!

In our modern society, vulnerability is mistaken for weakness. Mostly, people believe that we all should wear armor, that we should protect ourselves from heartbreaks, disappointments, criticism… etc.

we live in a world where people first instinct is to doubt you when they first encounter you, and it becomes your responsibility to prove them wrong to win their trust, so we completely miss the fun part, the authentic human experience, acting and being who we truly are, facing life with wide open arms, choosing to show up, to be seen, to have no masks on, to be fully exposed, and having a deep understanding that with this choice comes a 50/50 probability of either failure or success.

Although I don’t believe that there is any loss here because when we take a chance we grow and we learn about the life, each time we engage in a new relationship, we get to unfold another aspect of ourself and of the other person; we expand our horizons and discover alternative possibilities and ways of living and being; we heal our wounded parts, and throughout this journey, we experience Joy, one of our birthrights, we explore what freedom means, and how it feels to be free and carefree, not having to calculate any of our doings or sayings, we become innovative and creative; we create from a space of freedom and love.

Being heartbroken or fooled, Judged or hurt does not diminish the impact of the experience of being vulnerable, because we already lived it, it is part of us now, it’s true it did not go the way we had wished, but it will shape who we are and through it, we gained so much wisdom, if we get hurt, we learn with time that it’s via a broken heart that we get to develop and awaken to the true meaning of love, that the more shattered our hearts are, the more light goes in, that trough grief and sadness, we cultivate mercy and compassion; we become more sensitive and empathic to our surroundings, so there is only winning.

“Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart so that fresh leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.” — Rumi

Let your soul guide you!

The Soul will always choose love because that is its essence! It is pure Love and Light. The Ego, however, will try to protect you by inducing fear in your thoughts, trying to stop you from being vulnerable,

We should live life from the source of our internal power that comes from the soul, listening to our intuition or the soul’s voice which always whispers wise words coming from a place of love and strength.

When the ego’s voice arises, we should acknowledge it. Thank the ego for looking out for us and release it from its duties. Bow to your broken heart in gratitude, for if it hadn’t shattered, you would have never been initiated on this path to your soul awakening.

Embrace the beauty of your soul. Feel it. Let it guide you. and always TRUST…that you are Divinely guided.

Lots of Love💕